The Sick Tea Party

After so long
We're finally trying to renew our friendship
She keeps claiming she's changed
I accept that, because I have changed, too
She tells me she's not ready
That it'll throw her life out of balance
And she just got to this place of happiness
I accept all of this, I understand
I'm willing to wait the world turning
To start our friendship again
With all pride set aside
But what she doesn't know is how bad I've missed her
When she left there was a time when there was no light in my eyes
And I asked if what was holding her back
Was my bipolar disorder

After the first message
I showed her my scars
I wept at her feet
And she tells me now
That I used my bipolar as a weapon
Calling me an attention whore
That my disorder isn't a real sickness
When my symptoms started surfacing so long ago
And then intensified
You pushed me away with all you could
Back before you shattered my weak heart
And now
After all this time has passed
You still call me an attention whore
Because I wasn't the "person who I became friends with"
She said how I cruelly treated her
And that she was doing all the work
All I ask is: how and when?
I don't remember that
Nor do the people around me remember that

My old friend,
All we can be is fair-weather
Because I could go on about the
Arrogance in all of your words
And how childish and petty you type
In every message you send
You say that I need to understand
Your reasoning's
For what was done in the past
Oh, how angelic she was
While I needed a straightjacket
Because my manic depression was killing me
And I was literally insane
I was too far into my botched-Wonderland
To be an attention grabber
And if I was, then it was asking for help
You don't see that
But I guess that's what happened
And you say your "life has finally improved
That you don't feel burdened or reduced
To someone who doesn't care about their friends"
Maybe I'm reading this wrong
But you keep going on in this letter
About how you were so caring to me
So much that I was the enemy
And when I was going to take my life
You were "meh" about it
"MEH" about it
You say that it was asking too much
That you "hoped to God two of her best friends would get along"
You keep saying all this to the point where you're practically singing
That I mistreated you so badly
When you were the first one to reach out to me
So, go ahead and sing
Sing about how I was too cruel to you at the least

You don't know a fuck about suffering

"No melody should soothe this outrage." – Alice: Madness Returns